What at week!! First off, Merry Christmas!!! I truly love Christmas, love the lights, the atmosphere, the sheer joy it brings to my boys and the shopping...well maybe not the shopping (however I did discover the art of online shopping this year)
This was also Zachary's first Christmas. It seem sort of strange having an almost 11 month old celebrating for the first time. My other two were so little at this time of the year.
Sadly this years Christmas festivities were filled with flu, fevers, coughing and funerals.  Last week at this time, we were replacing interior doors in our house and getting ready for a drive out to London (about 3 hours away) to support a dear friend who had lost her Dad, when we received a phone call from the school saying Carter was sick. And so our week began...
While we were in London, the older boys stayed with a girlfriend of mine...poor Carter cried the whole time. This was actually the 3rd fever he had in the past 4 weeks, although each time the fever broke and he went on his way, but I thought we better get him checked out.  So as soon as we returned from London, off to Urgent Care we went.  Thankfully (although sometimes it's annoying) there was nothing they could find wrong. Upon our return from the clinic, I walked in the door to find Peyton was brewing his own fever.  That was the start of the dreaded flu spreading through our house the week before Christmas.  So our well layed plans to have a date night, finish our shopping and sit back and relax was thwarted.
But amidst all the chaos, we truly had a wonderful Christmas...all 5 of them!  Yup, I said 5, beginning on Thursday with Ryan's Dad and ending at my parents on Sunday.  We did end up cancelling our Christmas Eve plans due to our sickness (so now we only had 4 lol).

Now that I have bored you with all my Christmas details, we truly had a wonderful time and were blessed and spoiled. Now Ryan heads back to work tomorrow and I am going to enjoy a day at home and try and bring some order to this place we call home, while the boys play with their new toys.

Zachary is crawling in full force, time to break out the baby gates. Each time I see him take off, I truly sit in awe (although I don't get to sit for long!).  It is amazing to actually watch a miracle happen in front of your eyes. I'm already thinking about the next step though, as we were told once he starts to pull himself up they will look at sizing him for afo's or orthodics of some sort. He doesn't plant himself flat on his feet, he stands on his heels, which of course is not good for balance. So I'm looking forward to next Thursday when we head to Spina Bifida group at Bloorview.

And I promise some pictures soon...:)

Moving Forward!

I know it's only a little movement...but at least he's going forward! :) and since I took this video this morning he's been going farther and farther. Of course the real way to get him going are those puffs on the floor...food, always the way to a boys heart :)
I am still in shock that I can sit and write this post, as we could only "wait and see" what Zachary could do...and of course he always amazes us.

So one of the services that we have in Ontario is called Infant Development.  I had sort of forgotten about them, but now that they have been here, I'm so glad we finally met.  Katie came over on Wednesday. The first visit is filled with paper work, but somehow we managed to do more than paperwork.  We chatted about EVERYTHING, and 3 1/2 hours later...I couldn't believe she had stayed that long! I had to check the clock 3 times to believe it was right. So aside from the obvious connection we made, I feel she is going to be such a valuable resource. I still feel there is so much I don't know about what's out there and how to apply for things or find things that could help us. And not only is this her career, she also lives it, having two boys with Down Syndrome. So I really feel like she has a bigger concern for her clients.
Infant Development is set up to help with in home therapy, (following along with the therapy Zachary is receiving at Grandview) a resource for any grants or tax credits (paper work etc) will accompany you to appointments if you want, and just anything little that comes up that you're unsure about, she will even help me find daycare when the time comes.
She is coming back on Thursday, I am looking forward to what she has for Zachary and some help for me with government forms. :)

10 Months!

During my hiatus, Zachary also turned 10 months!  I know, I know, I say it every month, but where has the time gone?!
He is such a delight and loves to flirt and is still working on moving those crawling legs forwards, rather than backwards.  He is sleeping through the night (oh boy does that feel good). He wasn't even up too much before that, but to have a full nights sleep is beyond fantastic. He still loves to be swaddled, which is sort of funny, wrapping up this 20lbs turkey in a blanket...but whatever works right :)

So I think I'll start my return to blogging with our annual gingerbread house decorating. The boys seem to truly love doing this, I mean what kid doesn't like to have 6 different bright coloured candies sitting infront of them?! :)
This year I even let them eat them! That thrilled them as well and that may now start a new tradition. I think I'm going to have to start making one of my own to keep around until Christmas.

Alright, time to get my butt in gear. I can't believe how long I have neglected my blog. I have spent the last weeks enjoying every word of the other blogs I follow and haven't had the time to sit down a plow through one of my own. The past few weeks have been busy, but just ordinary life busy. We've had strep throat, ear infections, green snot, coughs and all the other fun stuff that seems to come with this season.Our Christmas tree has gone up, we finally celebrated Peyton's birthday, we've had two Christmas concerts, got my back-to-work date :(, almost completed our Christmas shopping, decorated our annual gingerbread houses and finally got to meet someone from Infant Development.

So hopefully within the next week and a bit I will be able to stay on top of all this and have longer posts to fill in all the gaps of our little adventure we call life.

In the meantime here are a few pictures...everyone loves pictures and maybe they'll buy me a bit of time :)

 

We're almost there!! Zachary is getting closer and closer to making my house even busier!

He's been doing this back and forth business for about a week, part of me thought he would have taken off already...but one step, or knee at a time.
Everytime I watch him try to scoot around, I sit and say a little prayer "Come on Zachary you can do it" It's that part of me that just wants him to do what babies are supposed to do, and I want him to defy the odds and do it too. This is where the fear of SB and pure joy hit me at the same time. They are such extreme emotions all welled up into one moment. My brain takes off to 4 years in the future as I think about him starting school and at the same time, completely grounded in the present as I watch an actual miracle happen right infront of my eyes. Oh how I am so thankful to see a true miracle.

6?!?

How is it possible that I have a 6 year old?! I don't feel old enough to say I have a 6 year old (and try not to look old enough to have a 6 year old lol)

But alas this day has arrived. I spent last night and today thinking back to the those final days before Peyton arrived.  In true fashion to his personality today, he decided to arrive late.  He was due on the 6th and since there wasn't much sign of him coming, I was to be induced.  I was trying to remember all that was going through my head that night before I knew I was going to have a baby.  We found out Peyton was coming shortly after we were married, much sooner than we originally thought we would be starting a family. I was very excited to be pregnant, and soon realized it was not how I thought it was going to go.  I was SO sick, the WHOLE time. I definitely did not think about keeping that baby inside me that last night, I did not long to still have a baby kicking inside me. But I also remember feeling very content and ready to meet our first little one.
As terrible of a pregnancy I had, I had a wonderful labour. I often joke that I don't want to be pregnant again, but I would labour for anyone. Peyton arrived at 9.14pm weighing 8lbs 5oz. We were elated to have a boy and he started our family. Little did we know where we would be 6 years later.

Peyton is a fantastic boy. As I mentioned, he is not always the fastest moving kid...but that's because his little brain is always working.  He loves to read and is exceptional at math. He currently attends a French Immersion school and is coming along in his French.  He loves to play with Carter, for right now they are very good friends. He loves Star Wars, having battles with his light sabres and drawing all the characters. He has recently started skating lessons, and is doing fantastic. I love watching his determination, and succeed.
He is a perfect first boy, and I love watching him grow and seeing him become a real boy.

Zachary's Dedication

Yesterday was Zachary's baby dedication. We had a great church service followed by lunch at Swiss Chalet.
We are so grateful and blessed to have such amazing family and friends who were able to celebrate such a special occasion.
THANK YOU!

9 months!!!

With each of my boys I felt like 9 months was such a milestone. It's that feeling that they have been around almost as long as they were in me.  Sometimes I wish my pregnancies would have flown by as fast as these past months have! (I have been blessed with 3 not-so-fun pregnancies...to put it mildly lol)
Zachary has a Dr's appointment next week, and I am curious to see how much our little chunker weighs.  By my scale at home (you know...you stand on the scale, then switch and stand with you and the baby, I'm sure it's very accurate) he's somewhere in the 19lbs mark...he sure has beefed up these past 2 months!
He is still as content as can be and finding ways to get around everywhere. I'm thinking the baby gates are going to have to come out soon...that roll can take him places fast.

Not sure if this video is going to work, but this is the response we get everytime we say "mama"

And sorry for the kink in your neck from trying to watch it :)

Love Beyond Measure

That is truly how I feel about Zachary. I have such a bond with him, that stems from the amount of time I spent with him in the beginning of his little life.
Lately I have found myself lamenting the future for him.  I just keep thinking it must be a bad dream, one that has lasted over a year...
If you read my previous posts, you can see Zachary is doing amazing...so why all this ridiculousness?
For the most part I can live in a world of bliss, enjoying my baby doing baby things. But every time I lay him on the floor and wonder when he'll start crawling or change his diaper to help him get the poop out, I'm reminded of the what-ifs and unknowns. They are weighing on my mind more than usual these days. 
I want to keep him in a bubble forever, not have to let him go to school, wondering how he'll do interacting with other kids, if there will be anything that will set him apart from the other kids (other than his cuteness of course!) will he be the topic of conversation among parents or teachers...
It's hard enough being a kid, you never want anything else to make it harder. 
This may be a silly analogy...but I feel like someone trying to get pregnant and it's not happening, and I'm given the advice to "just not think about it"...and yet every month you get that little reminder that it didn't work again.  I just feel like I'm always being reminded and I don't know how to just enjoy the now.
It's just driving me crazy that I have this fantastically easy, squishable, giggling, bright eyed, happy baby, and all I can think about how this is all going to play out.

Well enough of worrying about the future...
Not when you have cuties like these hanging out in your house :)

See this is how you put them together...



No problem Big Bro...I can do it all by myself!




Hanging out in the Kitchen while Mommy and Carter do some baking...smells good!




STANDING!




Yup, I'm a boy,,,love that remote!



Bloorview Visit

Yeah, my baby is a rockstar...
Not that I'm bias or anything :)
But Zachary had a great visit at Bloorview this morning. Kim the PT, watched him play and was quite impressed. She was also very happy with his cognitive abilities (yeah he's smart too, lol).
She gave me a few things to help him along, like transitioning him from sitting to lying and vice versa.
She had no concerns about him at this time, he is right on track!
As he gets a bit older and starts trying to pull himself up to stand, she will look at getting him some AFO's (ankle foot orthotics). Zachary doesn't plant his feet, he stands on his heels, so the they will help him balance.

She apologized that we came so far to not really accomplish anything...I said No Problem! I love hearing good news, it was well worth my drive.

Zachary is 8 Months!

Well here we are again...
I am now embarking on my favourite baby months. I love how they start to interact, their independence, and new ways to get around.
And speaking of ways to get around, I called Bloorview last week to see if we could start on some physio. (a little bit annoyed that we haven't already been set up on a program) They told me Zachary's next clinic day was in February. February? He'll be one by then...that's a lot of lost time in seeing what his potential is and how we can help him get there. I left a message with the physiotherapist.
A couple of days later I got a phone call from Grandview (a local childrens therapy centre) from their physio department.  I just figured Bloorview had made a referal, but 20 minutes after I made the appointment, I got a call from Bloorview!  So now we have two appointments. I am just fine with that. I like the fact I have 2 opinions and one that is close to home.
We went to Grandview on Wednesday for our first assessment. And our rockstar of a baby is right on track for an 8 month old! Music to my ears :)
We will go there for the next 3 weeks to start a program.
We head to Bloorview on Monday. I am excited to see what they have to say.

So here are a few pics of our little man!

Oh my, I can't believe it's been so long since my last post!
It has been busy around here. The boys have started skating lessons, we went to Great Wolf Lodge, and Zachary is starting physio...
So some of my catch up is going to be through pictures :)

Peyton all suited up

Carter

Can't forget that Zachary was there too...

Zachary and Ryan @ Rainforest Cafe on our way to Niagara Falls

The boys seeing the Elephant

On our walk to the falls

Our Family :)

Awareness

So October is Spina Bifida awareness month. I only know this because my son has spina bifida...any other October I have never encountered any sort of information or "advertisement" letting me know about this birth defect. (Although on a side note...it is actually awareness month in the States)

So if you read this blog, consider yourself aware...
Aware that spina bifida will add smiles, joy, tears, and triumphs (just to name a few).

No place like home...

We're home! and Zachary is sleeping away, all cozy in his bed.
After a VERY early morning (we had to be at sick kids @ 6am), one rockstar 7 month old and a 2 hour surgery, there's no place like home.

Yes, my rockstar baby didn't make a peep. He last ate at 3.30am, was woken up at 5.30am and hung around waiting for surgery until 8am...and didn't make a peep.

The waiting room was packed, so there was a lot of distraction and no time to even think about today's date (although we are home early enough that it might sneak up on me later today).

Unfortunately, they were only able to do half of what needed to be done.  They have to wait another couple months to complete his surgery. So in 4-6 months time we will be back there again :(. That was a little tough to hear as it wasn't expected. But we are so thankful he is such a trooper and truly never ceases to amaze us.

A few pics from the day...

6am...All smiles :)

Waiting in the pre-op room with Daddy

The cutest boy in a hospital gown

That Day

...that day, it will be remembered like no other. I sat in the Dr's office waiting for my second OB appointment, having just had an ultrasound two days before. 
That day would bring my world down around me. That day would make me apart of a club that I never wanted to join. That day would teach me how strong my husband and I are and cherish the two beautiful boys that were already in my life.  That day would bring more tears I ever wanted to cry and confirmed a faith I knew would never fail me.
That date will forever be one I won't be able to shake, I won't ever mark in on the calendar, it will never be celebrated with a party, but it will always be an important one...
SEPTEMBER 30, 2009
I know it's still two days away, but even now I contemplate how I will feel that day. And I write this post two days early, because on that day Zachary will be in surgery.  Thankfully nothing major, but surgery none the less.
So I will either be very distracted or I will have a horrible breakdown as the memories of his first surgery will consume me. I have been to sick kids a dozen times in the past 7 months, but never back to that waiting room or recovery room.

...that day, I hope I can use that anniversary to show how far we have come and rejoice in the milestones and victories Zachary and our family have accomplished.

Carter is 4!

Well his actually birthday isn't until tomorrow, but we had his little party today, so I thought I would quickly get a post in.
Just as I commented on him going to JK...this truly makes me feel old. Where has the time gone.
Carter is the cutest, sweetest little boy.  He loves social interaction, is very witty and never lacks chatter. But he gives me a run for my money in the sassy factor :)
He was absolutely the best opening his presents today.  He had a great reaction for all of them..."oh it's a shirt!" lol
I love you to pieces little man, and hope your zest for life contributes to this world in a big way!



"Clutch Powers" Lego Cake



Good News and New Obstacles...

So this morning was a little tricky, but went off without a hitch.  Peyton got to his bus stop on time, Carter was at his on time, Ryan made it to work and Zachary and I were only marginally late for our Sick Kids appointment. Not that it really matters...as you only get there to hurry up and wait. :)

So here goes the good news...Zachary does not need to stay on catheters!!! Wow like music to my ears. He still needs the ditropan to help relax his bladder, but he is not at any risk of hurting his kidneys. His bladder doesn't have the strength to keep pee in there long enough for it to be pushed back up. Fantastic...

On to the not so fun news. His type of neurogenic bladder means the muscle is too weak to store pee.  And if you can't store pee, you pee your pants...
So while he is in diapers, this is not an issue, he can pee whenever he likes. But as you can figure, as he gets older he will need some sort of bladder control. The only way to provide him with this is to surgically close his bladder and then it would be emptied by a catheter. BOO.
So while they are not necessary now, they will most likely be part of his life forever.  Gulp...another emotional pill to swallow.  But hopefully the time I have to digest that one, it won't be so bad when we go through it...

That being said, we are still going to catheterize him once or twice a day so he is used to it when the time comes. But I feel better about this and don't feel the same pressure as I did 3 months ago when we first had to go on them.

So we have about 3 years for a miracle to happen and restore that little muscle in his bladder (oh as well as his bowels).  And good thing I believe in a Big God! :)

A little side note...as the Dr was talking to me about his bladder and everything, I was asking questions and answering questions, he looked at me and asked if I had some sort of medical background.  LOL, I told him my Mom is a nurse and I just seem to retain too much knowledge.  I thought that was a pretty big compliment coming from a specialist.  I guess I'm in the wrong field being a banker! lol :) But you can just call me Dr. Wood!

7 months!

Here we are again...another month has rolled by. 7 months makes me feel like I'm on the other side of infancy. My baby isn't "little" anymore and it also makes me think about having to go back to work :(

But Zachary is a delight and is adored by his brothers.