I was reading a book recently about spina bifida and at the end of each chapter they had parents thoughts and comments regarding their experiences.
One of the comments has stuck with me. She was mentioning how special children are given to special parents, something we have been told a lot since we found out about Zachary. But she also added that sometimes it's not about the faith we have in God, but about the faith He has in us.

Our faith has played the largest part in all of this. We have leaned completely on God to know all things work together. But what an awesome thought that God would have enough faith (the actual definition of faith wouldn`t really apply to God...but in any case) in Ryan and I to raise the two boys we already have as well as Zachary and whatever may come.
This does not just apply to those who have a child with special needs (again a phrase I`m not fond of...but you know what I mean), but in all our lives.
I know enough people that are going through tough times right now.  Real life changing experiences.  And to think that God has enough faith in you to show others what He means in your life.  ``Make the most of every opportunity,`` one of my favourite verses, one that I constantly try to remember (of course not always easy when your in the eye of the storm).  God gives us each opportunity to live out our faith.

My oldest son Peyton has been asking questions about dying and heaven. Not always easy questions to answer.  I don`t lie to my children, but I still need to respond in age appropriate answers.  He once asked me why we were on earth. I asked a few more questions to try and determine the root of his question. It turns out he truly did want to know why we were even here.  The first thing that came to mind was to tell other people about God.  And as I said it, I thought, how true it was.  While we are here to worship God and believe that He sent His Son to die for our sins, what good is it if we never even tell anyone about it. And we have nothing to tell if we don`t already do the previous sentence.

This post sort of took me in a direction I wasn`t intending, it has a lot of thoughts that have really been important in my life the last few months.  Trying to raise my boys that they make a decision to follow Jesus, and live out my life in a way that is an example to those around me.  I always want to keep a greater perspective and remember life is not always about me and my situation.  Knowing that God has enough faith in me to send circumstances my way so that His glory can be seen.

Well it was a busy weekend. Ryan was out Friday night, so it was just me and the boys. Saturday I went out for a little bit to shop and then headed over to my mother in laws for the afternoon. She has Ryan do some sort of labour task for Mothers Day. I think it's a great idea and might remember it for when my boys are grown up. After supper we went to visit some friends and just hung out. We watched the movie The Proposal...boy was it funny. We got home around 1ish and then after feeding Zachary, headed to bed. We then had a busy Sunday, as we took off to Waterloo for a birthday party. Here's where the real adventure begins. Of course we were a wee bit tired from the night before, a got a slower start than we were suppose to. Our kids aren't used to long car rides, which actually makes me a little sad. Means we don't go anywhere! Regardless they had a movie on and played their DS's. We were almost there when Ryan realized he needed to get some money. So we pulled into a plaza and all of a sudden I hear Carter say "Mom, there's stuff coming out of Peyton's mouth." I turn to look and there is Peyton sitting with a stunned look on his face and throw up down the front of him. And then the gagging starts again. So now we are on a quest to find some clothes. I hadn't packed anything for them of course. As we were driving, Carter is then saying he has to pee, and Zachary is crying the hungry cry. We find a National Sports and Ryan takes us to the back part of the parking lot so I can have Carter pee (don't think less of me that I allowed my 3 year old to pee outside...desperate times call for desperate measures). Then I started to get the clothes off Peyton, and wipe up what I could from the van. After that was done I quickly tried to satisfy Zachary's hunger. So now we are over an hour and a half late for the party, that is only 4 hours long. So we had a good time seeing friends we don't get to see very often and then started off back home. So we left at 9.30am and got back home at 5.20pm for a 2 hour visit :) lol
It was one of those very comic moments in life as a parent. Needless to say I was in bed just after 9! Thankfully Zachary slept until 5.

This morning Carter woke up with a headache. Maybe insignficant, but he has been having them here and there for a little bit now. And this particular one started in the car ride yesterday. He hasn't changed any behaviours at this point, but I'm still not happy that my 3 year old is complaining of head pain.
To top that off, Peyton woke up with a sore throat. His third in the last 2 months :(. So he is home from school.
While Carter misses Peyton when he's gone and sort of drives me crazy during that time. I can get a more done on those days in the way of going out in about. So I'm not sure I will get to the things that I had planned for today unfortunately. Oh well. It looks like a tornado hit my kitchen, so maybe that should be cleaned up instead. :)

But in other news...Zachary has started to get a bald spot on the back of his head! While this may seem like a silly thing to post about, it is one of those things that he didn't have because he was on his side or stomach. So I took a picture :)

I stumbled upon this video last year. At that time, I fowarded it to a friend of mine who was going through a very hard time. Ironically, we found out about Zachary and his spina bifida 5 days later and it quickly became a source of strength for me. It continues to be one of my favourite songs and one that I draw on quite frequently.
All of my life in every season...may I always remember that no matter what.
God is Good

My 3 Boys

So just a normal day in the Wood household.  I truly love hanging out with my boys. I love the days that Peyton is home from school and we all just have a great day on our own schedule.  I will be sad next year when he goes everyday and we only have the weekend to really just hang.  Plus it's nice to have him home to play with Carter. Carter really misses him when he is gone.
So while I don't have much to update, I thought I would do a post anyways.  I find myself always wanting to read other peoples blogs, even if it's just a picture, I love the updates.  So here's my pointless blog, but an update none the less. :)

So just an update of today's happenings. We went to the orthopaedic clinic today at Sick Kids to have an ultrasound done on Zachary's hip.  And just as I thought all is well!  But it's always nice to get good news.

While I was in Toronto, a very good friend is going through a very traumatic experience. And while I won't put in print what is going on, it's what is occupying my brain and heart today.  My biggest prayers and love are going her way right now.

We are supposed to treat Zachary as though he is allergic to latex.  It has been found that most kids born with Spina Bifida develop some sort of intolerence to it.  So while in the hospital they didn't use latex gloves, I got rid of my balloons at home and had been googling since before he was born. But I feel at a loss for what I'm actually supposed to be watching out for.  Zachary has been around for 2 months and I'm still not sure what I should actually be cautious of.  When I was at Sick Kids last week, I asked the surgeon if they had any literature on latex allergies.  He said no, and basically should be fine in day to day things, just at the hospital would be the main place.  So now I'm even more nervous because I don't feel that was accurate, but I don't know what to believe from the internet. I really wish they would do a test on him at some point to see if or how allergic he is.  I feel so uneducated about something that could be a huge risk to my son. I would hate to think that I would expose him to something and not even realize it could hurt him.  This has been one of the most frustrating aspects of his spina bifida.
Well that's my rant. :)
Better start getting a move on supper...

Friday night Ryan and I had a date night. Well we took Zachary with us, but one out of three ain't bad. :)
We went out for dinner and went to Lowes to look at carpet. Who would have ever thought a date night would consist of a home improvement store. LOL
But it was so nice to be out together and not have too many interruptions.  Zachary was fantastic, other than needing to be fed, he didn't make a sound, even slept all through supper.

I also started my running class last week. It was pretty good, and I'm looking forward to this week. I was not the fastest by any means, but that was never my goal. I wanted to start running so I can set my own pace, improve my stamina and enjoy it, not to win a race. We are supposed to do two more runs throughout the week, so hopefully I can get one more in tomorrow to finish my homework.

Just thought I would add my new favourite picture of Zachary.

 

I have decided it is impossible to take a good picture of all three of my boys. The older two are just not into it. If one of them feels like posing, the other one absolutely will not.

I took this picture on Sunday. I cheated a bit and put Zachary in pants to go to church. We weren't going to Sicks Kids until Wednesday. I was sure it was ok and really wanted him to look like a little man.

So while this is not the greatest picture, they are my 3 boys. Still seems surreal that I have 3. :)

It might take me a couple posts to catch up on this weeks events. It sure has been a busy one!
On Monday I had an appointment for myself and Peyton. So that pretty much tied up the whole day. Zachary was 2 months on Monday. Although I always thought 12th was on Tuesday, so I totally missed his 2 month picture :( Very sad that happened. And you would think with all the appointments I have to keep track of, I would always know the date. But apparently that was not the case.
On Tuesday, Zachary and I went to Grandview.  A place in Oshawa that handles everything from speech impediments to a school for kids that cannot attend public school.  We were to see a social worker, occupational therapist, physiotherapist, speech and language development as well as a Doctor.
The first lady we met with was a resident and had been working at Bloorview (a Spina Bifida clinic in TO).  I thought that was going to be great and she would be a good resource and contact. That did not turn out to be true. I had a really hard time with her. She was not very friendly and asked very broad questions that made the whole thing seem really akward.  Her tone was not uplifting and she didn't even know that SB kids are generally treated like they have a latex allergy. I was not impressed with her knowledge (or lack there of) and her bedside manner. Oh well.
The rest of the morning was fine, but not very helpful.  I felt like I walked away no further ahead.  Originally this was very annoying to me, but later on that day I had an epiphany.  There was nothing for me to walk away with, because there is nothing wrong with Zachary, he's perfect.  While that is obviously not true on all levels...as a newborn there is nothing extra for us to do with him.  Now the waiting list for Grandview is 9-12 months, so that will be around the time he starts to walk and then we will know more of what his limitations might be.
After that we were off to the paediatrician.  Nothing much there, but I did find out he weighs 11lbs 13oz.  I thought he would have been closer to 13lbs, but I think it's because he's so short it makes him seem bigger.  I decided to wait for his needles until next month, not too sure why, I just had a gut that I thought it best to delay them.
On Wednesday we were back at Sick Kids for the neuro clinic and head ultrasound.  Zachary slept through the ultrasound (he's such a great baby) and was so good the rest of the day.  Our U/S was for 10 and the Dr was for 11.45. We were taken in early for the U/S, which was fantastic, but then waited over an hour for the Dr. Oh well, what can you do.
I asked about the few stiches he still has, but they assured me they are dissovable and will eventually go away.  And of course I wanted to know if he could go on his back...which he now can YAY!! It was so fun to bring him home and play with him on his back.
So all in all it has been a busy week, but only good news has come of it.

Here's the only picture I got of him the day after he was two months :(
Happy 2 Months Zachary!

I remember my aunt coming to visit us in the hospital, she said "you have a really special boy there." I replied "yes I have three of them."  Of course my aunt had good intentions in what she said, but I was feeling like my two "normal" boys were being left out.  The outpouring of love we have received since having Zachary has been astounding and needed and appreciated.  But I also want to have everyone feel equal.  Not that he was more special because of how he was born.  I will never discount the miracles we saw along the way and will continue to see throughout his life, but that does not take away from the family I already had.
It is very important to me that it doesn't become them and him.  I want us to be a full unit. I realize Zachary will have more appointments and things that are going to be specific to him, but I don't want the other two to be lost in the shuffle.
I'm sure most families with a "special" baby feel the same way.  How do you continue to be "normal" when so much has changed.  I am thankful that my boys don't know any different.  This is how their baby brother is.  He has a boo boo on his back and don't touch it...that's all they have to watch out for.  So it's probably me that makes more if it. 
I am very thankful that at this stage in his life he doesn't require much extra care other than being careful with his back. He doesn't need a catheter, he doesn't have a shunt (although watching his head is a little nerve racking) and other than him peeing and pooing constantly, which makes changing a diaper more challenging, he is a wonderful new born.
So here's to my 3 wonderful boys, that are all miracles and will have their own challenges and exciting moments in their life whether they have spina bifida or not.

Not too much to report today.  Had a nice morning today. Finally got the kids out of the house after feeling couped up for a bit. Well yesteday I took them for a car ride, but today was actually playing.  With the rain we've been having they can't just run free in the yard or go for a walk.  We were all going stir cazy.
So off we went to an Ontario Early Years centre to run around and play.  Then we quickly went grocery shopping, so I finally had some food in the house. 
I was reading another blog today that had a link on it.  She is trying to lose weight and is using www.myfitnesspal.com.  It seems to be a great little site that you can track your food intake and exercise.  So I'll have a whirl at it and see if it helps keep me motivated.
I start my running group next week and am really excited about it, although a little worried I will look like an idiot. :)
It will feel good to start to get back into shape...20lbs is my goal.
Here's hoping!

I came down with a severe case of strep throat on Thursday.  During the middle of the night I woke up in a lot of pain that I couldn't go back to sleep. Friday morning I knew I had to get it checked out, it was terribly sore (coming from someone who just had a baby 7 weeks before) lol.
So I got some drugs and wore a mask to try and not spread my germs, but to no avail.  So off to urgent care this morning with all three boys.  Peyton has an infection...which is of no surprise. He's actually the one who usually gets everything first, poor kid.  He had tubes in his ears at 18 months, and I think we're heading to have his tonsils come out. Carter had complained of a sore throat, but nothing had started yet.  I can't really explain what I mean, but that kid always gets sick backwards. I'm sure he's already sick just the infection can't be seen yet. The Dr was gracious enough to give me a prescription for him, just incase something does develop.
So I am praying Zachary doesn't get anything.  Him getting sick just adds more stress to a regular baby being sick.
I still feel very strongly that Mothers should be immune to getting sick.  We already have enough going on! :)

Just heard some news from a very dear friend today.  She is pregnant with her second and was told that her baby is not healthy at all.  Part of the brain is missing and none of it looks good.
My heart just breaks for her, as I feel her pain from what I went through 6 months ago. 
I am thankful everyday for my little miracle and I pray for a HUGE miracle in her life through all this.  No one should have to bear this burden.