RICE!

So last week I just had a spur of the moment thought to feed Zachary.  I had been totally sure that I was not going to feed him until he was 6 months just to allow his system to be a bit more mature and let myself feel prepare for whatever else may come from him putting something other than breastmilk in his belly.  We had gone two days of him wanting to eat every 3 hours or so (he's usually a 5 hour man), so I thought let's give it a try. 

I only had rice on hand from a few samples I had received in the mail (which also answered the question of whether or not I would feed him rice). So I mixed it up...and he loved it!  He devoured the whole thing, about 7 or 8 mouthfuls.  I haven't been consistent with it yet, but it looks like it works well with a lunch time feeding.  So we'll get a bit more adventurous this week trying new things and hope all goes well. I can hardly believe he is old enough to be starting solids.  It has just gone by so fast!

The Creek

Yesterday we went for a walk down by the creek. It's a perfect place to walk, lots of shade to keep you cool.

The boys whined by the end, but really did have a good time :)

Roll Over Roll Over...

So Zachary has, you guessed it, rolled over. :)
He has rolled from his tummy to back for a while now, but had yet to go from back to tummy.
Thing is, we all missed it!
I was in the hallway painting and he was in the other room. I heard him make a noise that is usually heard when he's on his stomach and turned to look. Sure enough, we was on his belly!
Each milestone has such a different feeling with him. Way to go Zachary!

Mini Renos

This past weekend we started our mini renovation on our kitchen. This room has needed a face lift for a long time, but just seemed like it was going to be too time consuming.  When we moved in, it was yellow...sunflower yellow with a sunflower border to boot. And not only that, they had painted the ceiling the same colour. So we had a yellow box for a kitchen. It seemed like painting the ceiling was what was holding us back.  But we finally got at it. The ceiling turned out fantastic, the paint went on so well. We took down the old tacky florescent lights, and that alone made a world of difference. The walls are now a pretty dusty olive. Next weekend we tackle the backsplash.
I can't wait to take after pictures!

We have also started painting out the trim downstairs and bought new doors. Not sure when we'll get around to hanging those, but it sure will brighten up the place.  We have all wood trim in a house that does not get much natural light...not a good combo. The white makes a world of difference.

Bare with me...

Just want to say bare with me as I reconfigure my blog.  Each time I try and sit at the computer to set up a new look, I'm interrupted (something about having 3 kids or something lol) and hopefully I can get it the way I like in the next few days.

On another quick note, Zachary was discharged from home care yesterday.  I am thankful not to have someone coming to the house any more. Although the nurses did improve after the first one we had.  But nice to not need them anymore. For the time being anyways :)

Progress

So Zachary has been getting better at sitting. He still leans forward a lot, but has figured out how to use his hands to balance.

He was sitting beside me and I was trying to not let him fall, so I held the camera out infront of him.

Then I thought he was doing pretty well, so I moved infront and took a pic. He didn't fall over the whole time.

Rice or no rice...
Once again I feel at a loss for what I know and don't know.  From my other SB bloggers I have learned that rice is not the best cereal to start with because it often will constipate a baby. I also brought up this question when I was at the Spina Bifida clinic last month, and the nurse agreed.
We were at the Dr's on Monday for Zachary's check up and he asked if I had started solids yet. I said no and let him know I really wanted to wait until the 6 month point so his digetive system is that much more mature.  I then stated that info I knew about rice.  He sort of chuckled and said rice doesn't constipate.  No rice is the best cereal to start with. When you start getting into oatmeal and things like that you run into the risk of celiac problems.  Rice has the least amount of allergy risks and it does not constipate.

It's not a case that I think that he's right or wrong, it's just one more thing that you think you are sure about and then a medical professional has another opinion.  On this road of spina bifida, there is so much I don't know that I don't know yet. And it's killing me. I like to know everything about everything. And when I think I have done enough research or listened to enough stories to feel like I have a grip on things...a curve ball gets thrown at me.
So I do feel a little torn on what to do in a months time when Zachary can enjoy a meal from a spoon.

rice or no rice that is the question...

Peyton took this picture of Carter, and I just love his blue eyes. They get him out of a lot of trouble :)

Zachary is 5 Months!

So another month has flown by!
He weighs 14lbs 6oz and is 24 inches long.

Here is our little man! :)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path.

I'm at that place of not understanding. Caught in between knowing God's plan is bigger than me but still wondering what this all means. 
My biggest struggle began when Zachary's medicine was causing him a great deal of stomach pain.  And through those tears of pain the only thought I had, was "we kept you and now your life is going to suck."
Now don't read into that statement...I have never waivered on whether we were to keep Zachary or not.  It's just the thoughts of all the obstacles he has to face, even medicine that makes him feel so horrible.
And so last Tuesday I had my first breakdown. As Ryan joked with me, I showed a crack in my armour...
and proved that I am human. But it made me feel really defeated.  Although to add to the whole thing, the other two boys were absolute terrors that day, which obviously didn't help.
I still sit here feeling defeated.  For having the break down in the first place and now wondering how to get out of that feeling.  I'm so thankful for my husband and three beautiful boys and strong support system and a powerful God that knows so much more than me.