Mar 28, 2010

Our Journey Begins...

I have struggled for some time on whether I was going to blog again or not. 6 months ago our world was turned upside down. I went for a routine utlrasound in Bowmanville on Sept 29th. The tech was really nice, she was from Tennessee and had a cute little accent. After she was finished all her measurements, she turned the monitor to let me have a look at my little baby. She told me she wasn't able to see everything and was going to book me another scan. I waited in the waiting room and thought it strange that she didn't send me to the receptionist to rebook. Instead she came out a couple minutes later with a torn off piece of yellow paper, that said Oct 1 @ 1pm Oshawa Hospital. She didn't offer anymore details just that is where I would be going in a few days.
I left the hospital and called my husband. I knew something wasn't right, but of course didn't know what to prepare for. Two days later I had an appointment with my OB. He came in an did the usual pleasantries and slowly started into a conversation regarding my U/S. He told me our baby had Spina Bifida. He didn't have a whole lot of information as the tech truly couldn't see everything, but he didn't think it looked good. From his understanding the defect was high on the back and it wasn't clear if the skull had properly formed. He was so sensitive in delivering this news. My eyes filled up with tears as he informed me a baby cannot survive if the defect was how they thought. He finished the appointment doing the usual OB stuff and I left his office with this new information.
Once again I called my husband. He left work to come home and found me on the computer googling Spina Bifida. Oh isn't the internet such a great place to go for research...lol :). The rest of that time is a little bit of a blur, but the thought of the unknown and whether our baby was only being kept alive by me, was in the for front of our thoughts.
I had a long conversation with my parents and my heart broke as I could hear my Dad's voice get shaky as he prayed with me over the phone.
That night was a long one, but knowing we would find out more the next day at our second U/S made it more bearable.
Ryan and I made our way over to Oshawa Hospital and went to sign in. The lady looked at me and asked what time our appt was. I told her 1pm. She shuffled through some papers and told me my appt was actually at 10am...I was 3 hours late. I looked at her dumbfounded and informed her this was very important and the tech in Bowmanville had booked the appt. She handed me a piece of paper with a phone number to call to rebook. I left in tears.
I called Bowmanville Hospital to explain what had happened and see what they could do. They called Oshawa and tried to make me feel better and sympathize with my situation. In the end they said they could get me in on Tuesday. TUESDAY!?!?? That was 4 days away. How could I possibly wait for this type of information when I was supposed to find out today? It was terrible. We spent the next couple of hours trying to call different Dr's to see what could be done. All to no avail. We went home realizing we would just have to wait.
After we had been home for a little while, the phone rang. And although I missed the phone, I saw we had a message. While we were trying to figure something out the hospital had called saying they could get us in the next day. What a relief!
I confirmed our time at least 3 times!
We went back to the hospital on Friday and braced ourselves.
After and hour and a half ultrasound, they finally brought Ryan into the room.
The Dr came in to give us a report. She gave us news we weren't expecting. Our baby did have SB, but it was low down on the back and the head was fine. We couldn't believe it!! We went from not knowing if we had a viable baby to a baby that although had a birth defect, was otherwise very healthy. :)

I will continue again...other duties call :)

1 comment: