My little man turned 6 today...I truly can hardly believe it!
6 feels like such a grown up kid age and now my second little boy has reached that milestone.
He is still a passionate, melting, loud, witty, talking, fast boy. And he sure loves his birthday.

Carter, you are loved beyond measure. Happy Birthday!!!

I will add one soon

Community...

How do you define this word?
We all would have our own definition, but I think the core of it would come down to a sense of belonging.

I feel lately, a lot of my Mom friends are missing out on the meaning of this word.
They don't have a great family support (geographically or just not around) and feel like they are taking up a friends time if they ask for help.

This makes me sad. I have to admit I truly feel the same way. Mainly when it comes time to ask for help. We are in a scoiety that strives for us to do it all, all the time. You are weak if you have to ask anyone for anything.
I thought I had gotten over this through each of my pregnancies (which literally leave me helpless and unfunctional), but each time I went back to my ways of "all by myself."

I just think it's wrong.  So I am determined to do what I can to increase the value of my community. I don't feel like I have a lot of time on my hands and certainly don't feel like I have a lot to offer. But I want to see my girlfriends and I want them to feel comfortable to know me well enough that they can ask me what they need from me.

I want to be in their lives that I actually know what's going on, that they don't have to ask any more, because I'm aware of the need. But as I work towards that, I want to be available.

Since last year, it has been our plan that I would start working on going back to work full time. Right now I work part time on a set schedule of Thursday and Friday nights and every Saturday. Nothing has really come up and I was feeling a little discouraged, but last week it finally dawned on me that I need to be a blessing with the time that I do have at home.

So here's my first step...morning tea. Nothing crazy, nothing stressful, but just a chance for my friends to have a place to come hang out for as long or little as they would like and start to grow our community. Not necessarily in size (although I'm happy to have as many as will come), but find that sense of belonging and comfort to draw on eachothers strength.

So every Tuesday morning, my house is open. And I hope my time can be a blessing and my community that I so desperately need will be a strong one.

I'm baaackk!!!!!
Well now that all two of  you are smiling ear to ear to hear all my stories and see way to many pictures of my kids...I promise not to disappoint :)

It has been far too long, too many months, too many stories...

Our computer died a few months ago and with it went all things blogger.
Not that I was the most dedicated blogger, but I certainly enjoyed it when I got around to it. And here's hoping my new computer and new school year will have a positive impact on my time spent sharing my life with the two people who follow me.

So where to start...
This past summer flew by! I can hardly believe the boys are back at school. Carter started grade one, which means he goes every day. It's only me and Zachary holding down the fort. Needless to say I am desperate for play dates to keep him occupied.

Peyton went back to camp at Lakeshore Pentecostal Camp in July. It's a camp in Cobourg that I grew up going to, and actually my Mom did too. My parents purchased a cottage there in the spring, so he had a great time and slept at the cottage. We took some holidays that week and spent the last part of our time at the cottage, with just our family. It was very relaxing.

We also attend our VBS at our church. It runs from Monday to Friday, 9am-1pm. And this year they had a nursery open for a small fee. So of course I sent all 3 and enjoyed some wonderful mornings by myself.

Ryan and I also celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary. I love this man. He drives me crazy and makes me fall in love with him everyday. There is no one I would rather spend this life with than him.

We are in the second week of school now and it has been going very well. The boys are thoroughly enjoying school. Like I said Carter is in grade one and Peyton has started grade three. I can barely wrap my head around the fact that he's in grade three. I have vivid memories of being his age. How is it possible I have a child that age...I'm far too young lol.

I am still working part time, with the hopes of going full time sometime this  year. Really praying the right doors are open for us.

Our big thing coming up is our trip to Disney World!!!! We are going for a week in October and I can't wait. The boys are so excited and I am truly feeling blessed that we will have a chance to go away as a family for that length of time. We really haven't had a family vacation since we have been a family.

So that's a quick synopsis of our past few months. So with out further ado, I present you some pictures...

Hi, it's me again...not sure if anyone even still reads this lol.

I'm sorry it's been so long, but what can I say, I've been busy :)

We've had Christmas, a rockstart turning 2! and a lot of life in between.

I'm starting this post from work, but I will attempt to add pictures when I get home...but fear that will delay me in hitting the "post" button. So we'll see how that goes.

I will take the point form approach so I can get as much in as possible without making this extremely long.

~ Christmas was fantastic. The boys are a such a fun age (although that also makes the bad gift receivers sometimes...something we'll work on). We had the week after off as a family, and it just flew by. I worked Christmas Eve and then we were on the go until after boxing day with family events.

~ January we had Spina Bifida Clinic day. They are always so long, and become harder to entertain Zachary as he gets older. We met with Physio, Ortho, and the nurse. We would usually also see the Paediatrician and Urology, but we had recently seen Urology at Sick Kids and the Paed Dr wasn't there that day.
Zachary was a rockstar as usual. They were very impressed with how well he is walking, although they fear him developing contractures (shortening of the muscles because his knees are slightly bent all the time due to low tone in his ankles). PT suggested I put his braces back on, which I was fine with, but I just feel they are so limited. She said we would see what Ortho had to say. Zachary also has a pressure sore at the end of his tailbone that has been there for about a year...we have just not been able to get it to heal. Ortho wanted to check that out and we were sent home with some other techniques to try out (to date, it is looking fantastic! not completely healed, but well on it's way!) He was not too concerned about his knees and wanted us to commit to doing stretches on his legs to help.
I actually did put on his braces and he can actually barely walk in them. And I am getting close to saying I would like to have some sort of support for his ankles. As he gets heavier and more active I think he needs some extra support...truly I should just have him in shoes all the time and I think that would help (it's on my to do list :))

~ February 12th my baby turned 2. 2!!!!!! How that is possible I don't even know, but two years have come and gone since that terrifying day. And there is no more terror. Some times wonder, about what the future holds, but not with fear, just with curiosity. He is funny, sassy, and ALL boy. He loves to run up and down the hall, he loves Thomas the Train, Lightning McQueen, his brothers, playing outside and eating lol.

Two weeks after his birthday, I had a chance to speak to 300 high school students about my journey with Zachary and how it affected my faith. It was great. I trembling with nerves, but felt I did fine once I got going. I found it very therapeutic as well. My Dad is actually the Head Master of a Christian School in Toronto, so it was actually his school I spoke at. I think the fact I was there as his daughter made it more fearful, but I received a lot of compliments afterwards. Maybe I should go on the road LOL :)

~ We are now just finishing up March Break. It has been nice having the boys home, although I think they are now missing their school friends. I have also starting watching two other boys (ages 2 & 4), so that made for a busy household. All three boys have had coughs, still playing ok, but a little bit grouchier than I would like.

There is never a dull moment in our house, between getting to school, nap time, pick up from school, working, extracurricular activities...well you get the idea :)

Happy St Patrick's Day (I don't actually celebrate it, but thought I should extend the gesture)

Forgiveness

forgive
vb -gives, -giving, -gave, -given

1. to cease to blame or hold resentment against (someone or something)

2. to grant pardon for (a mistake, wrongdoing, etc.)

3. (tr) to free or pardon (someone) from penalty

4. (tr) to free from the obligation of (a debt, payment, etc.)
(collins english dictionary)
 
 
I said to Ryan last week that I think 2012 is going to be a good year for us.  Looking at 2011, it felt hard. My heart hurt in the beginning of the year as all the trauma (or whatever word you may choose to use) from Zachary's birth hit me like a tonne of bricks. That subsided around April and truly life was good the rest of the year. But this year I have a feeling will be a great one.
I started off this post with the definition of forgiveness...
Something I had to do for myself this past week. I realized I had been holding on to a lot of blame from Zachary having Spina Bifida.  It wasn't a huge burden that I felt I carried all the time, but as time went on, slowly but surely it crept up on me and landed this week. I knew I had to deal with it.
It brought a few tears of course and hopefully a renewed sense of freedom that can only come with a true forgiven heart.

Thanks to those who still follow my blog :) I wish I had more time to sit and share my crazy life with you more often.