How do you begin a comeback blog post...

How do you sum up a years worth of memories...

How is it possible that so long has past since I have sat at my computer to even think about putting thoughts on a page for the blogging world to read...

Once again I'm inspired by those blogs that I love to read and catch up on, beyond a Facebook status.

So I won't look to past experiences to fill my new blogging adventure. 
But start from here, from now, from the moment I'm in right now.

The right here, right now, is Ryan and I just spent the evening rearranging furniture.
I love to rearrange. In fact I have been known to do it on occasion and not let my husband know that the bed may not be in the same place when he arrives home late at night.
I crave change, and moving furniture satisfies my craving for just getting up and getting out of dodge.
Rearranging furniture also satisfies my want to avoid other things I need to take on...it tricks my brain into thinking I have completed the task I'm trying to avoid.

This task that looms over my head, the one that I feel too tired to tackle...

Getting Zachary ready for school.

Well how can that be hard, I already have two going full time...surely I know what I'm doing.

No, I don't.

I feel overwhelmed thinking about the small things that need to be put into place to help with the transition. I feel left out on my own to figure out the small things that may be easily solved, but I'm not sure of the resources I need.

So I rearrange furniture.

Surely that seems like the best thing to do.

My little man turned 6 today...I truly can hardly believe it!
6 feels like such a grown up kid age and now my second little boy has reached that milestone.
He is still a passionate, melting, loud, witty, talking, fast boy. And he sure loves his birthday.

Carter, you are loved beyond measure. Happy Birthday!!!

I will add one soon

Community...

How do you define this word?
We all would have our own definition, but I think the core of it would come down to a sense of belonging.

I feel lately, a lot of my Mom friends are missing out on the meaning of this word.
They don't have a great family support (geographically or just not around) and feel like they are taking up a friends time if they ask for help.

This makes me sad. I have to admit I truly feel the same way. Mainly when it comes time to ask for help. We are in a scoiety that strives for us to do it all, all the time. You are weak if you have to ask anyone for anything.
I thought I had gotten over this through each of my pregnancies (which literally leave me helpless and unfunctional), but each time I went back to my ways of "all by myself."

I just think it's wrong.  So I am determined to do what I can to increase the value of my community. I don't feel like I have a lot of time on my hands and certainly don't feel like I have a lot to offer. But I want to see my girlfriends and I want them to feel comfortable to know me well enough that they can ask me what they need from me.

I want to be in their lives that I actually know what's going on, that they don't have to ask any more, because I'm aware of the need. But as I work towards that, I want to be available.

Since last year, it has been our plan that I would start working on going back to work full time. Right now I work part time on a set schedule of Thursday and Friday nights and every Saturday. Nothing has really come up and I was feeling a little discouraged, but last week it finally dawned on me that I need to be a blessing with the time that I do have at home.

So here's my first step...morning tea. Nothing crazy, nothing stressful, but just a chance for my friends to have a place to come hang out for as long or little as they would like and start to grow our community. Not necessarily in size (although I'm happy to have as many as will come), but find that sense of belonging and comfort to draw on eachothers strength.

So every Tuesday morning, my house is open. And I hope my time can be a blessing and my community that I so desperately need will be a strong one.